Проблемы русских детей, выросших в иммигрантских семьях

iva_no_va — 22.10.2011 Вчера весь вечер хохотали. Ребёночка, которой это было отправлено, до слёз смеялась, кушать не могла успокоиться. Прошу прощения, у всех, кто не читает по-английски, но те, кто продал родину за колбасу, и привез в Америку детей, которые уже подросли, думаю, что меня поймут и велком под кат. 

За наводку спасибо emma_pa  

• Having so much food on the table at every single party your parents host that can last for weeks when the party ends.
• Your mom tells you to eat something she just made and you say "mama, i'm not hungry," and she replies "a shto?! nada bit golodnim shtob eta pokushat?!"
• Getting enough food to feed 10 people every week for one, and then being asked every day till next week "U tebia est chto kushat?
• Running out of semechki is a crisis.
• Kinder Suprise is THE best thing in the world.
• You are upstairs. Papa calls from downstairs. Why? Two possible reasons: 1 He wants you to bring him his tapochki (which lie about 10 feet away, by the TV), or 2 It's just a proverka sluha (checking your hearing).
• You say "Blin!" instead of "Shit!"
• When your entire family calls "negrov" abezyanami
• the main sport every russian kid has had to play once in their life: tennis, soccer, and durаk. if u dont know how to play durak, u should be disinherited.
• When you get sunburned your grandparents tell you to put smetana on it
• At one point in your life, you had a carpet hanging on your wall.
• You can't go to a friend's house "s pustymi rukami" - you should bring a torktik.
• Your mom will tell you to lose weight, and 5 minutes later ask you why you are not eating her piroshki.
• Your parents insist on wearing a hat in the winter, because golova ne zopa.
• You try to get your mother's attention several times by repeatedly saying 'mama..' and she replies "NE MAMKAY MNE!"
• When you tell your mother about something you read or did on the internet, and she responds with, "OH ti duraka valayish instead of looking for colleges?!"
• "gavno na palachky" is worse than just plain "gavno"
• There is no right time to eat anything cold. You either are sick, were just sick, or will get sick.
• There are only 3 types of anti-septic your parents trust and use: zelyonka, iod and marganzovka. So you have variety of choices to be green, orange or purple.
• "Holodets" is also known as "Jellied minced meat cooked with eggs and pig feet." Try getting any of your American friends to try that one.
• Trying to explain to your American friends what "iolki palki", "obaldet" or "pizdets" means
• Your dad brings peroshkee to the airport "Shtop ti nee kooshala drek", and airport security dosen't let you pass because they can't figure out what they are.
• Every guy you date/dated your father calls "chistiy dibil”
• Your mom insists that you clean your room before the cleaning lady comes "shtobi nye bilo stidno"
• When relatives and family friends tell you: "you know when your mother was your age she already had a husband and a kid to take care of..."
• When you come home from school or work you must change into your "domashniya" clothes.
• When your grandma doesnt let you outside untill you finish your food, even though youre dying inside.
• You spent elementary and middle school wanting PB&J and Fruit Rollups for lunch instead of your meatball wrapped in rye. Now you sit in your college dorm pining for kotleti.

 

• Papa's favorite line: "NITCHEVO SEBYE!"
• Every single event in your life is somehow indicative of whether or not you will get married
• Forget the Tylenol - every cold must be treated with "bankee". Papa stands over you with a torch while mamma puts blankets on your back & yells at you to keep still. Then trying to hide the round circles on your back from your American friends.
• "A chto k chau?"
• When you invite a friend to your house, and your mother begins feeding him/her, you know she approves. Likewise, if no food is offered, you know not to bring them back

 еще немножко тут: 

http://www.russiangirlproblems.com/?page=1
 
 
 
 
 

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