How to spot Russian in Canada

torontoru — 17.10.2017 Вот тут для англоязычного сайта нарисовал - может и вам понравится. Ну и исправления/дополнения конечно приветствуются.

How to spot Russian in Canada

Language. They obviously speak Russian among themself, and assume no one around them understands it. At the first sign of another Russian nearby they shut up immediately and continue in English only at the bare minimum level that situation requires. Making sure their kids speak Russian fluently - is an overarching goal. Russian books and TV at home, after-hours Russian schools, Russian speaking playmates, punishing the kid for attempting to speak English at home - everything to make sure kid is fluent in Russian. It’s a total failure of Russian parent in Canada if kid is not fluent at the language of Leo Tolstoy and Dostoevski.

Appearance. Russians do overdress and they know it. So they try hard to look more like Canadians. But they still stay classy. Leggings, shorts+flip-flops or god forbid - crocs is No-No for Russian.

Eating habits. Russians don’t eat out. Restaurants? - total waste of time and money. Pint of beer at the bar after work? Good luck finding a single Russian in any of Toronto pubs. Take-out? Careful here… You are literally telling the Russian man that his wife can’t cook. Canadian supermarkets are mostly tolerable for Russian, but not the Deli or Dairy sections. There is small, hole-in-the-wall russian grocery few blocks away just for these two.

Kids. We discussed some of the kids stuff in the language section. But it doesn’t end here. It’s just getting started. At the end of the day the sole purpose of Russians immigrating to Canada was to give their kids a better life. Kids of Russians are gifted. No questions about it. Russian parent in Canada knows it even before the child is born. Therefore no Canadian public school can match the intellectual abilities of the Russian child. What do you mean they can’t take square roots without calculator by grade 3?! If Russian can afford it - kid goes to the best private school. If not - after - school math, science, history and art classes. Preferably by Russian - speaking teachers. Sports? Yeah. Kid should develop not only intellectually, but also physically. Hockey is too redneck for Russian. Figure skating, swimming, chess (yes, that’s a sport too!), maybe dancing and martial arts classes. So after school Russian kid goes from one class to another, only to face mandatory “Russian reading time” before bed, barely even having a chance to look out of the window and see his Canadian classmates fooling around outside (what a waste of time!)

Where do Russians live? Well… it should be “white” neighborhood, with the good schools, Russian deli, all the after-schools classes (preferably by Russian - speaking teaches) and it should not be a Russian neighbourhood. Yes, Russians like to brag about living “not in the Russian ghetto”.

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